When talking about ejaculation in relation to sex, people are generally referring to when semen (usually containing sperm) is discharged from the penis as the result of an orgasm.
Premature ejaculation is when this happens earlier in sex than is wanted, either by the person or their partner(s). Most people with penises will experience premature ejaculation at some point in their life, and this is nothing to be ashamed of or worried about.
However, if you find it is happening a lot and you or your partner are unhappy about it, you may want to go to your GP or a sexual health clinic for help and support.
There are two types of premature ejaculation:
‘Lifelong’ premature ejaculation means that the problem has existed since puberty.
‘Acquired’ premature ejaculation indicates that someone started suffering from premature ejaculation at some point later in life.
For people with lifelong premature ejaculation, psychological causes are more common. Some people may have conditioned themselves to ejaculate quickly in their adolescence (to avoid getting caught). Some may have become overly anxious with sex, because of a childhood trauma related to sex, or if their upbringing has made them view sex as inappropriate or shameful.
Acquired premature ejaculation can be caused by both physical and psychological issues, including:
Some serious illnesses, such as multiple sclerosis, can cause premature ejaculation, as they can result in nerve damage.
It can be difficult to talk about premature ejaculation, but talking to your partner could play a big part in improving your situation by reducing stress and relieving anxiety during sex.
If you are experiencing premature ejaculation and finding it concerning or distressing, you can visit a sexual health clinic or your GP to talk it through.
There are a number of things you can try yourself before seeking medical help, such as:
If you are in a long-term relationship, you may benefit from having couples therapy. Couples are encouraged to explore issues that may be affecting their relationship, and given advice about how to resolve them. They are then shown techniques that can help ‘unlearn’ the habit of premature ejaculation.
Anaesthetic cream (such as lidocaine or prilocaine) numbs your penis, reducing your sensitivity. However, it can be transferred and absorbed into the vagina, causing decreased sensation.
Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), which are primarily designed to treat depression, can have the side effect of delaying ejaculation. These do have mild but temporary side effects such as fatigue and nausea.
